I had a huge range of responses, with most men feeling they should pay, no matter what; expressing they felt ‘emasculated’ or ‘weird’ about a girl paying. Some men remarked that it’s 2012 and if a woman wants to pay – power to her!
I am pretty quick on the draw. My credit card flies onto the table before you can say ‘Bill please’ or ‘check’ and even if I know I have zilch in my bank account, I am happy to pay. For some reason I abhor going Dutch, it feels decidedly clinical. (I’m sure one of you will come back to me with the psychology on that!).
As much as I am happy to pay, it is extremely irritating if my generosity gets taken advantage of and I am forever footing the bill – it happens and of course, I know plenty of men who are stuck in the same cycle. I feel you.
Now for some more honesty, that I am sure will have me unfollowed by all my feminist sisters – I really love it when a guy does insist on paying, as much as I love being independent, it’s really nice to stop and feel ‘taken care of’ at times. Confusing much? Yes men, I can understand how crazy this jungle you are trying to reign is.
I guess a first date is more complicated than a simple search for chemistry?! As much as we try to pretend that we’re not on show, we are. Therefore, if a woman pays, does that mean she has ‘issues’ and needs to ‘wear the pants’ as one of my twitter followers suggested? And if a man let’s her, he has ‘an inability to provide and can’t be relied upon’, as another tweep suggested?
I don’t believe either. What I do want to know is – if a woman pays why does it matter so much?! Has she inadvertently sealed the date with the kiss of death? Does it come down to ego? Or does a man decipher a woman paying to mean there’ll be no second date? You are in effect paying to be rid of them, or thanking them for their time.
To confuse the matter even more, (I know I’m not alone on this) I, along with a range of women have a strong allergy to doorknobs. I do notice when a man opens the door or allows me to walk first, in fact, I prefer it. In that case, by me paying, am I turning convention upside down and stripping a man of his ‘role’, confusing him further, leading him to wait for me to open the door for him?
I gotta admit, if a man lacks chivalry and lets me pay, then I’m calling Houston and you better believe my girl friends are telling me to kick you to the kerb but should a man’s friends be doing the same? Telling him to throw me back into the sea because I did pay?! Fair is fair, right?
When there’s chemistry, there’s chemistry. It’s undeniable and a surefire way to ensure a second date but can a first date ruin what looked like a promising relationship all thanks to who gets the bill?
I know it hasn’t bid me well, what about you?