When is being all for one and none for all a bad idea?

26 Dec


Apart from the answer to this post subject being an entirely obvious one, it appears that looking out for numero uno is increasingly  the way of the land.

We live in a fast paced, competitive world, where if you wait and ponder for too long, you risk being trampled by a pod of Hippos on a determined path to get ahead. People will tread on you; most playfully, some ferociously and all the while you’re expected to keep your values in tact.

Good guys don’t need to finish last and bad guys, well, their reputation proceeds them and eventually exterminates them.

Regardless of the world migrating online, hiding behind their laptops and mobile phones; core values still exist. Those that wish to communicate effectively within their community and industry cannot run the risk of severing themselves from mankind.

In 2011 I went on a mission to connect with genuine people. Integrity and kindness being the most important features I looked for in the people I met.

Good people aren’t hard to find if you make an effort to read those in front of you. I often feel like we see what we want to see and we fail to choose wisely in who we spend our time with.

“You are who you hang with”. Your closest friends will shape who you are, influence your beliefs and either lift you up or drag you down. Life is too short to be surrounded by what my father likes to call ‘dead weight’ – people that celebrate your losses and encourage you to seek out mediocrity over passion.

Believe in the power of  community, respect those that operate within it and invest in your peers. Respect should be a given, regardless of  whether or not you share a friendship. Personalities may clash and it is imperative to recognise that although it would be great to connect with and have a mutual sense of comradery with everyone in your industry, not so surprisingly, that won’t always happen. A mutual respect of each others accomplishments and efforts however, is something we can all control.

In the long term, the goal isn’t to be liked by all, the goal is to find your crew and board that ship. Respect the journey and the people at all stages of it – those that are just recruting their crew, those that have boarded -well on their way and those that have arrived.

I’ve had a huge amount of people give up their time, invest their talent/money/energy into my projects. These people aren’t being generous just because they’re good people but because as individuals they’re passionate about creating. They’re also intelligent human beings in search of the perfect ‘community’. By seeking out those you respect and by working with them – you grow. By giving to those that need your help – you grow. By challenging yourself and believing in your future – you grow. All in all, none of the above can be achieved alone.

I understand that referring to the people you engage with as your ‘community’ sounds borderline ‘motivational speaker-esque’ but that’s what they are. They’re your people!

You have a small core group and then a larger circle of people that are linked to you and your team. For some, you will fall into the outer circle of people and for others you will fall into their core group. Either way you’re part of something bigger and you can choose to be a positive addition or not. However, being a positive addition is by far the most rewarding and contributes to the greater good of ‘all’.

‘One’ fits into ‘none’ a little too perfectly. It’s Christmas and if you have learnt anything from today  – giving is the greatest gift.

Why you can’t succeed as a creative without a team

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3 Responses to “When is being all for one and none for all a bad idea?”

  1. Chris Hardwick December 26, 2011 at 1:17 am #

    Agree Kristy. I think people spend too much time worrying about what the negative people are thinking and saying and not enough about what the good (and therefore more important) people think. We all slip into that sometimes i think. I heard a great speaker once talking about his daughter who was feeling sad as sarah at school didnt her. His reply was “well do you like you?”. When she replied “of course” he said “well what does it matter what Sarah thinks then?!”. Maybe a bit off the subject – too much Xmas wine maybe 🙂 – but i like that anecdote! Haha

    • Kristy Best December 26, 2011 at 1:30 am #

      You’re making sense to me Chris, definitely not too much Wine!
      It’s definitely difficult if not impossible to block out the negative comments/people. What’s most important is to not block out people. We all need a support network and we all need to respect and nurture those we come into contact with via work. I’ve always believed that as one of your team succeeds, their energy and determination lifts everyone around them. That same energy should be injected into your industry along with a sense of respect, compassion and understanding for the efforts and accomplishments of your peers. I’m not asking anyone to blow smoke up anyone’s butt and tell them you like their work, or what they do if you don’t. Just respect what people around you are trying to achieve and embrace that by being a positive part of that society, you better your experiences also.

  2. Paul Niran December 26, 2011 at 2:16 am #

    I’m going to tell you a little story about my Christmas and I’m going to try tie it back to your blog.

    2011 has been one of the most turbulent Yeats of my life and I don’t say that lightly. I’ve experienced some of the mist incredible of highs and at times, periods of lows of which I haven’t experienced before.

    Six months ago I had this entire day planned out. Perhaps it was remise of me to think that far ahead. Alas life is never as it seems and unforeseen circumstances altered the entire outlook.

    Which brings me to the 24th of December 2011 and the prospect of spending the pending Christmas day alone. An awkward feeling for even the hardest of men. My opinion only. A simple question was asked of me that day at work, what are you doing for Christmas? Now I can be somewhat proud so my simple answer was that I’ll just take it easy after work and I’ll probably be too tired to worry about it anyway. It was a typical blokey response to a question I was secretly to embarrassed to answer.

    Now I don’t have a huge amount of people in my inner circle, so when this person asked me if I wanted to celebrate Christmas with him and his wife and friends I was pleasantly surprised! Reluctant also at first, i mean maybe that’s just my pride. After all this idea wasn’t in my dream!

    So after work today I went and was I surprised. A person that I’ve worked with for more than 2 years whom I barely know welcomed me with open arms into his inner sanctum, showed me with the most unbelievable lunch, introduced me to his friendly Sebian friends, gave me the obligatory tour and was even thoughtful enough to give me a gift at the end of it. I left their home with an overwhelming sense of renewed faith in humanity. I was touched and for a proud ex military, country boy to say that’s a big deal!

    Which brings me to my conclusion. The 5 things that I didn’t just learn to today but were reinforced were –
    1. Giving is the most important part of any day let alone Christmas.
    2. The best things in life are free!
    3. Happiness appears in the most unlikely of places.
    4. Never judge a book by it’s cover.
    5. Swallow that pride and be open to new opportunities.

    I was very lucky today because the greatest gifts I received were lessons for life!

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