Tag Archives: depression

Turn those Grey skies YELLOW!

13 Jul

It’s raining, cold, your rego is coming up, that guy never called and you didn’t get that audition you went for. Your ex girlfriend is back in town – engaged, you dropped your phone in a puddle and to top it off you’re getting evicted.

You want to give up. Lie in bed all day, every day, until it stops hurting.

Me too! I feel you. That’s exactly how I feel when life decides to throw me a million curve balls. Sometimes I even stop answering my calls. (Me without a phone in my hand? Amazing!)

The thing I love the most during these awful times is that sinking feeling you get in your chest, that seems to arrive each morning, fading in pain as the day goes on but forever stopping you from eating or thinking straight. I wish that thing had an off button….

What can we do to fix it all?

Positive distractions.

Friends. Jump on your phone now. Who are your favourite 10 people, yes 10. Text them right now. ‘Coffee next week?’, ‘picnic on the weekend?’, doesn’t matter what it is, arrange a meet-up. Your friends are what make your skies the brightest of blues. See them. Don’t let the conversation be all about your troubles. You will only find yourself leaving lunch feeling even more down. Keep it about them. Their energy will most definitely rub off on you.

The gym. It is impossible to go when you’re feeling like a piece of shit. You have to! I would personally recommend going to a class. Go to one of the classes filled with old women. Or a class that will be entertaining, like Zumba. Spend an hour being surrounded by smiling faces and women who refer to you as ‘Darl’.

Confession: I have once, okay maybe twice teared up after a petrol station attendant has been nice to me, yep, just because I was feeling so low. It might happen to you at the gym when an elderly woman in lycra compliments you on your eyes at the beginning of your newly found aerobics class. It’s okay. You have a sweat towel handy. Wipe them away and get that butt moving.

Avoid the junk food. It’ll just make it worse….I love a good bowl of hot chips, banana bread and some chocolate when I’m down but it will just add to the self loathing. Stay clear of sugar. Try to keep on an even playing field. Don’t let food play with how sensitive you’re already feeling.

Book a Holiday. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a weekend away. Get out of here. Change it up. Adopt fresh eyes and meet new people! You’ll come back refreshed and energised and let’s hope, a little tanned.

Volunteer. You may not value yourself at this very moment but other people sure do. Give up some of your time to help people who need it. I know, you feel like you need help right now too BUT you get what you give, it’ll come. Nothing is better than seeing someone smile thanks to your hard work. Invest in others when you feel spent.

Don’t search for answers. I am one of those people who thinks too much. I will try to find meaning in everything and sometimes, well, there isn’t any. The universe isn’t punishing you. We’ve all learnt that the bad times disappear and good times follow. It’s the rollercoaster of life. You just gotta ride this wave until the better months hit.You will inevitably get a better job, go on an amazing date, get a raise….Good stuff will happen and you can bet bad stuff will follow again. You just have to find ways you can manage it. Play close attention to what works for you in turning that frown upside down. Let yourself cry, sure, but don’t feel sorry for yourself. Everybody’s life sucks at some point. You’re not that special.

K xx

Working the Bitches….

27 Jun

I was reading a well known women’s magazine recently, that featured an article offering advice about an age old problem – bitchy women.

The article attempted to cover ways in which to cope with work place witchery, however, the piece only succeeded in offering the same kind of advice you were once given from your school counsellor; try to work out why they’re doing it, seek to ignore them and if it gets too much, tell your teacher, ahem, your boss. Sounds like the bitch wins to me.

Sure, you may believe in karma! The universe will get’em one day and they will get their comeuppence. That’s all well and dandy, Pollyanna but for now, they’re making your life Hell! There’s gotta be a better way than just simply ignoring them?!

Before I go further, I’d like to highlight the difference between a woman of strong character and a bitch.

A strong, confident woman is also considerate, perceptive and open to communication. A bitch is someone who undermines you, is inconsiderate of you both personally and professionally and thrives on seeing you weak or affected. This post is most definitely about the latter.

Bullies travel in packs, so, you’re more than likely dealing with a co-bitch or co-bitches. Think of them as co-pilots in the repeated attempts at your assassination. They ride the coat tails of the alpha bitch,  allow the work place bullying to continue, and often, when you catch them alone, they struggle to make eye contact with you. It’s hard when you’re faced with more than one bully but you have to remember the co-bitches are the weakest individuals you will ever encounter. You’re really only dealing with one person here. You will always know exactly who the leader is.

Now that we’re clear, we can move on.

If you are forced to work with a ‘bitch’ you’re in trouble. Let’s not pretend you’re not. I’d love to say  – beat her at her own game, though, for those of us who are adverse to drama and quite frankly time poor, there has to be a better , cleaner way.

This lovely boy I knew in High School once said to me –  “Bullies hate it when you’re nice to them”. Pretty wise for a 15 year old and he was right. People are lost for reasons to dislike you when you’re nothing but nice to them.

How do you combat the bullies?

Here are some ideas, consider them experiments. Let me know how they go –

1. Be Sally Field for a day (circa The Flying Nun.) Bake cupcakes and share them with everyone at work, including the Bitch Brigade. Keep the happy greetings and goodbye’s flowing and never ever let the cracks show. Remember, these people survive on drama. You have to starve them of their energy source.

2. Be Dustin Hoffman (circa Working Girl) You are simply going to have to work harder at your job. Be prepared to hear them spout negative comments in your direction. Be a winner. Dress smarter, be smarter. Use their insecurities to feed your desire to rise above, literally. Who knows, if you find yourself in a higher position than them, you can always transfer them to another office!

3. Be Gwyneth Paltrow (after a Yoga class). Find activities outside of work that energize you and keep you positive. Mean people tend to bring you down leading you to eat more, work out less and struggle to put in the kind of performance you’d usually achieve quite easily at work. The only way to survive is to be able to see your workplace as a facet of your life and not your entire purpose. Mid week dinners with friends and rewarding weekends spent doing what makes you happy are the answer.

“This is your life, not theirs.” My dad said that to me just a few weeks ago and it’s spot on. You’re no longer in High School. Don’t let these women chart your future. Like my grandpa used to say, “You drive the car, the car doesn’t drive you!”

They’ve targeted you because you have something they don’t. Don’t let them crush you. Keep being great and watch them fall to bits.

That way, you win. Every time.

You might also want to add this track to your gym workout playlist –

….. Just run it out girls  🙂

Kristy xx

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